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Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. Please, save your breath. Can you die of constipation? Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world.
Lemme explain, the hiding place is your ass. We'll be making stops at punch-you-in-the-face-ville and stomp-on-your-head-junction. It's less witty, and more direct. Plus, it makes the shock on their face when you shoot them all the sweeter.
A truly creative and beautifully delivered threat can sometimes be more effective than any kind of physical action when it comes to resolving a conflict. Of course, other times it can just be a precursor to a savage ass kicking. Regardless, in the real world, much like a great insult, really effective threats don't readily spring to mind in tense situations and often only occur to us hours after the event. By which time it's too late. We can't help but watch and take notes for the next time someone cuts in front of us in the check-out line at the grocery store.